In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
