i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize