I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
