The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
