just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize