if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
