What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
