his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
