i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
