Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
