I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's official drugs can't kill me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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