So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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