we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
