So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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