Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
