well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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