The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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