Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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