Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
