I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Randomize
