Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
