she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize