It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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