your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
