question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
