whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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