You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
that's an acceptable place to lick
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
