She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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