You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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