my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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