dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
