This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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