You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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