Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
