I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
