just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
