he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
