He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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