Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
