Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
