I wish I could punch you in the face.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
