you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
