Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
