I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
