I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
