My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
