Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
