i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize