She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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