this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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