bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
