Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize