I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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