I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
