I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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