You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
