He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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