i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize