I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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