i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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