I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
