My first STD was from a foam party
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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