So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
