hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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