so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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