I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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