Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
