This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
