You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we should paint friendship bongs
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