And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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