i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
