oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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