Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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