Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
