He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She needs sedatives and a leash
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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