"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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