Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
