I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize