Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
