I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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