People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
