If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
