Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
